It has been a long time since I posted…almost a year. Much has changed, though no post should ever be that long.
So I will focus on two thoughts. First, I am an associate pastor at a church. Six months ago, (they) gave me the Saturday night service…to preach weekly, build volunteers, etc… This 3rd service started out as a “Beta Test” for six months, and now that the six months is almost over, it appears that it’s going to contiune beings it is as well attended as the two sevices on Sunday. The short of it…It’s been along six months!
Not only do I recieve no financial compensation, I am constantly being stifled by the Lead Pastor. It would appear that he is set on mediocrity and the church being mediocre. Perhaps that’s fine for some, but it’s killing me! Why can’t the church be more than mediocre? I know it would take work, but’s only work!
On top of that, also what is spiritually dehydrating me is deep relationships…or lack thereof. I go to bed at night, and wake up longing and seeking more than the day before. Where my wife and I are located, that seems to be asking for to much. O’ how wonderful it would be to have some deep relationships with people that you can do life together with, not just function in different cubicals alongside.
Not your most uplifting post I know. Thanks for your thoughts
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May 17, 2007 at 10:32 am
francoisengelbrecht
… deep relationships … o man, that’s what life is about. It’s that friend that’s closer than a brother. Don’t you find it odd though, the Bible talks a lot about it but us guys seem to battle with letting friends get that close. I’ve got a friend who now lives in Holland who I have that kind of friendship with. I miss him a lot. That kind of depth is very hard to find and you end up feeling very isolated.
Good luck!
May 17, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Morgan
Isolated… that’s a good word to describe it. At times it’s the isolation of the “Higher Calling”, and at others it’s claustrophobic isolation.
One thing that makes it so difficult is that those types of relationships take a long time to build. I once thought you could fast track deepness by being intentional and purposeful in certain relationships…needless to say it didn’t work to well. It makes it discouraging when you know it takes a long time, but you have the need now. Sounds like the major problem with all investments - it takes time to reap dividends.
May 21, 2007 at 3:18 am
Francois
That’s very true, you can’t fast-track deepness. But I think that one of the most satisfying aspects of a new friendship - watching it grow deeper and seeing someone starting to open up and confide in you.
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